Holiday's... heartache or happiness

I'm not going to lie... I have a heavy heart this Holiday Season. This past year has been a year that I could easily forget. So much heartache, yet so much happiness...

Jon made it 4 weeks off his antibiotics. It's not been pretty. I know he really was hopeful that he would be doing a lot better, but he's not, and it's heartbreaking. It's so frustrating when you feel like crap on meds, and when you feel like crap off meds too. Lyme is just a vicious cycle. We hate it! Today we made the call for Jon to go back on meds. I know it took every ounce of his pride to tell me to make the call, but it is what it is and he can always try again later. 

Jon was thankfully able to go to deer camp back in November and as many of you know, he was quite successful. It was just the boost he needed to lift his spirits, even if it was short lived.  

In the midst of the pain and exhaustion, Jon is still able to work most of the time. I'm very grateful that we haven't had to cross the bridge of Jon not being able to work. We both know that the ability for him to work is a major blessing, and we don't want to take that for granted. However, work takes it all out of him and leaves him having zero to give. He needs a break, physically and mentally... and so do I!!!

My job is still going well. Most days I really enjoy it, but it's also taken my stress level to a whole new level. Getting everyone dressed and out the door by 6:45am every morning is insane!!! I hate weekday mornings with a passion. It doesn't matter how routine I am, or how well I have everything planned out and organized, I ALWAYS end up running around like a chicken with my head cut off..

I miss the girls terribly during the week. Many mornings I drive to work in tears, wishing that I could spend more time with them. Counting down the days for the next "weekend" or "break". However, I have been BLESSED BEYOND WORDS, with a wonderful Mother-in-law and Father-in-law. Without them, Jon and I would not be where we are today. We are very fortunate and blessed!!! I don't know what we would do without them, and I hope they know how much we love them!!! Knowing how well they are caring for the girls helps take a little bit of my mommy guilt away. However, it's not just my girls she is amazing with... she also "gets" me and is an amazing listener!!! I can't thank her enough. 

In the midst of our crazy life we truly have so much to be thankful for... we have a roof over our heads, there's always food on the table, we have beds to sleep on, we have our Faith, Family & Friends... and we have each other. 

While our life has been overwhelmed with heartache, it's been our family motto the last few months to Make EVERY Moment Count. As 2013 quickly approaches our family is determined to move forward with happiness. Yes, 2012 has sucked in many ways, but we've learned an amazing lesson along the way... we have each other... Jon, Jenn, Claudia, Constance & Chloe... we're a team and no one can take that away from us!!! 

Thank you ALL for your support and love this past year... you will probably never know just how much you've touched our lives. Christmas Blessings to you all... and don't forget to Make EVERY Moment Count!!!